What is the difference between those who desire something noble and can't attain it through no fault of their own, and those who desire something noble and can?
So last August, I applied to Texas Wesleyan Nurse Anesthesia School. This has always been in my career path, but had not taken shape as a concrete goal. Until recently, nurse anesthesia school was not even remotely possible. I prayed about it consistently, but no window of opportunity opened. Take having kids, for example. And then, the fact that there is no nurse anesthesia school in the state we love most! And also my husband having a job that he very much enjoys. Then I found out that there is one school with primary clinical sites in Colorado. Actually, I found out minutes before Jonathan's surgery in August, from the nurse anesthesia who was on his case. So I applied, meeting the deadline by the skin of my nose, or however it goes... I was granted 2 interviews in December. Then the wait was on. As the time to hear back drew closer, this life change became the subject of most of Jon and I's conversations. I found myself putting off quite a few things until I heard back from TW- down to little things like taxes, a vacation, and ordering seeds for the garden... Each day, I grew more excited about the possibility of getting accepted and starting school, but reminded myself that they choose 125 out of 400 interviewed. Still, I anticipated success, planned out most of the details, and made preparations to make preparations.
All of which were put on hold indefinitely last night when I received a letter regretfully informing me that I had not been accepted. But they do wish me luck in the future! My first thought was that I have alot to do to get ready this year and apply to more places. My second reaction (when Jonathan gave me a big hug) was to cry. I didn't even realize how high I had thrown my hopes. And now, I must go on and try again. I've never really failed at anything this big. Until now. But was it failure? Maybe the timing was wrong. Or perhaps there is a better school?- there is one in Wichita, which I now plan to apply too. Alot to think about, to ponder, and re-assess. For now, my plan is to make every day count; to spend as much time as possible with Jonathan, Chad, and Katelyn; to go back to the ICU; take a stats course and CCRN; and to re-apply to at least 3 schools. And to keep praying.
Signing off...
